Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Humor Books Free 7/25

 http://amzn.to/N38CfB

At first glance, it seems to Mia that the occupants of the neighbouring apartments are a typical bunch of Brits abroad – loud, embarrassing, to be avoided. But then she wasn’t there to socialise with other holidaymakers. She had come to Kefalonia to pay someone a surprise visit. 

Meanwhile, her neighbours, young lovers Jo and Nathan are looking forward to two weeks of sun, sea and sex, while bosom buddies Caz and Babs are leaving the kids behind to celebrate their divorces over as many ouzos as they can pack into a fortnight. Frank and Margaret are making one last attempt to salvage their forty-year marriage, while gay meditation guru Shantee has come to find serenity in solitude. Lads-on-the-loose Craig and Steve are on a mission to bed as many babes as possible, while a miserable Simon is on his honeymoon – without his bride. And then there’s local heartthrob Dimitri, who will do whatever it takes to escape the very same paradise his guests have been dreaming of. 

They each have a suitcase full of expectations, but after two weeks together, no one is who they first seemed to be, and no one’s holiday turns out quite how they imagined…


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News stories from the #1 source in celebrity fairy tale news. Learn about Little Bo Peeps arrest for indecent exposure. Read the obituary for This Little Piggy. Follow the antics of Prince Charming.

All stories are based on the award winning novel, CURSES! A F***ed Up Fairy Tale by j.a. kazimer.

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Dumped? For her husband’s high school sweetheart he hasn’t seen in twenty years? Roberta Jones Spivey isn’t going to lay down for that. Instead, she reinvents herself and the new Bobbie Jones—new haircut, new name, new attitude—follows her soon-to-be ex to the small Northern California town of Cottonmouth. 

What better way to show him—and his sweetheart—what he’s missing in the brand new Bobbie Jones than taking up with the town’s local bad boy—who’s also reputed to be a serial killer. Nick Angel is devilishly handsome and sexy as all get-out. In a word, perfect.

It’s all going exactly according to plan...until a real murder rocks the little town of Cottonmouth. Of course, Nick didn’t do it...did he?

“She’s Gotta Be Mine”, previously published as “Sex and the Serial Killer”, is a contemporary romance of approximately 100,000 words / 400 pages.

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Dying in the middle of the summer in the Florida Keys is sweaty business. Welcome to Tarpon Cove. Madison Westin inherits her aunt’s beachfront motel along with a variety of colorful tenant’s - drunks, ex-cons and fugitives. Only one problem: First she has to wrestle control from her lawyer and conniving motel manager. She enlists the help of her new best friend who’s motto is never leave home without your Glock. Only in South Florida, land of hot tan lines, drugs on demand – not to mention blackmail and murder.

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Linda's had a bad day. First her boyfriend killed her. Then she woke up, still on this boring plane of existence, and with an odd obsession about her missing body. Mike won't tell her what he did with her body, and she can't find the stupid thing herself. There's only one thing she can do - torment the bastard until he coughs up the information. 

This is a very short work - novelette length - around 11000 words or 44 (print) pages.

Warning: Frequent foul language, mild sex scenes, and Australian spelling. Not suitable for children.

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After several decades of looking for true love and never finding it, aging model and lingerie designer, Alexa Ranger, has finally given up the search. A couple years ago, she got tired of the game completely and just stopped dating. Now friends and family keep her mostly content, so it’s shocking at 50 yrs old to find herself suddenly wanting a sex life again. It’s even more shocking to be attracted to a much younger man this time. She definitely thinks Casey Carter is sexy, but not handling her own age well, Alexa just can’t get passed their twelve year age difference to even consider a fling. Not that it matters anyway, anything resembling a normal dating relationship is totally out of the question because Casey is related to and living with her daughter’s boyfriend. The very last thing Alexa needs is yet another talk-show worthy drama in her already complicated life, no matter how amazing Casey’s kisses make her feel.

For a couple of years, 38 yr old, medically retired Marine, Casey Carter, believed his military injury had made him impotent. Having lost his wife to cancer, he hadn’t exactly been worried about the problem. Most days walking with cane was enough challenge for him. But now that he was ready to move on with his life, he had become more worried when none of the females his cousin brought around held any interest for him. So the last woman in the world he expected to start his engine revving again was the mother of his cousin's girlfriend. Even at fifty, Alexa is drop-dead gorgeous, and his libido certainly keeps reminding him she is the first woman he has wanted in a long, long time. Ironically, the more Casey gets to know and like Alexa, he finds out desiring the older woman is the easiest part. Jaded and cynical about love, Alexa is a difficult woman to convince of anything, but her kisses are all the proof he needs that they belong together. The former Marine decides his next mission is figuring out how to fit himself into her life.

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An Irish ex-boyfriend, a
New York newspaper editor,
a movie star, and a Hollywood agent - 
the men in Phred’s life cause her nothing but trouble.
So the last thing she needs is to become one of the paparazzi.

When Dublin newspaper journalist, Phred, is dumped by her Irish boyfriend, Finbar, she runs off to New York to make a fresh start. She ends up working as a journalist for a newspaper in Manhattan.

Set in a snowy November in New York, Phred’s world is filled with romance, humour and excitement involving her attractive newspaper editor, Royce, gorgeous movie star, Bradley Goldsilver, and handsome Hollywood agent, Vaughn.

Royce sends Phred out one night to a New York movie premier. Phred is a journalist, not a photographer, but Royce wants her to go. 

Her assignment is to glean a candid shot of movie star, Bradley Goldsilver, at his latest movie premier. No mean feat. Especially as every other big burly paparazzo with their eye on the money is vying for the same.

Phred, a reluctant paparazzo, does something outrageously out of character to get the photograph she needs - and ends up in the headlines herself.

Phred gives a whole new perspective to the world of the paparazzi.

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A Curiously Uncommon Short Story by Award-Winning Author Andrew Biss

Miss Perkins, tired of the constant innuendos and sexual insinuations of her employer, Mr. Reams, has decided to hand in her notice. On this particular morning, however, Mr. Reams decides to take things one step further. Unfortunately for him, due to Miss Perkins' natural nervous disposition and a telephone that rings at a shockingly high pitch, he soon discovers he's bitten off more than he can chew...or at least, one of them has.

A darkly humorous short story of approximately 3,700 words (20pp)





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