Back in the day, women were expected to stay home. Clean the house, raise the kids, but it was worth it. Every night, your man came home from work, planted a big ol'kiss on your face, rubbed the kids heads and sat down to dinner. You talked about your day, then Dear old Dad would go play ball with Jr out back. Now, in my generation, let's just say some husbands could buy stock in a bar, or condoms, if they are already cheating. Men have become emotionally unavailable. Then why get married? Most of the men cheat or leave. Because even though men have evolved from Dear old Dad of the 50's, unfortunately, us women haven't, so it's our fault this happens. We still want that life! To stay home, raise our kids and have a man that loves us. Romance books can be part of the blame. 98% of them have a happy go lucky ending! They make us wonder, where the hell are these men who actually have feelings and can connect emotionally with the heroine?
But in reality, what man still kisses his wife when he leaves a room? How many men are now content to sit on the couch and do nothing but hold his wife? In my experience, not many, at least not that I've found. Even when dating, most men had to be out at the bar or partying it up. Life is no longer laid back, bonfires and sitting on a porch. If you have one of those men, you're lucky and better hold on for dear life. I envy you, greatly. My biggest argument with my husband is that I only ask one thing from him. To love me. Apparently even that's too hard. The rest of us aren't so lucky. And it hurts! Take it from me. Either I'm unloveable, by every man I've ever met, or it's them.. I'm not saying it's not me, but when you're a pleaser, always trying to make everyone else happy, it seems to hurt more. You go out, spend every last dime to find them something that makes them happy. But is it returned? My last birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day and now Mother's Day, I've gotten some half assed comment from my husband who claims he loves me. That's it. No card, no pretty coloring from my child that he helped with, no gift. Nothing, not even a damn kiss. No, I'm not complaining about material things. What I'm upset about, is that my husband can't look past himself to realize how hurt I am. I mean really? You couldn't let our kid color some piece of paper, then you write Happy Mother's Day on top? I would have smiled, cried and loved it, because it was something real.
So why is it that my generation can never be good enough? Smart enough? Pretty enough? Submissive enough? What happened to the world that a smart young woman is now a threat to men? What happened to values, placed on love, family and being real? Is everyone so concerned with getting that one leg up that they forget what's important, who's important? Yes! The world is a different plance than it was even 20 years ago when I was growing up. I look at my parents marriage and am envious. You can see they really love each other. So why can't I have that? Why am I even putting up with a man who treats me this way? It's simple. I love the asshole. No matter how much he hurts me, I love him and it hurts. Life is different for my generation. Sure, most women have surged into the work place. Nothing wrong with that. But what about the men who now expect their women to support them? The men who can't seem to get over themselves enough to really truly love someone? Yes, now I feel like I'm ranting. Sorry, I'm just wondering, what happened to real men who wanted to be the bread winners and support their families? Basically, I needed to get this off my chest, but I'm also curious how many other women deal with this? With a man who claims to love them but won't hug, kiss or touch them? A man who remains emotionally unavailable to us, yet we stay? We allow them to treat us this way, why? Because we LOVE them. Right. Maybe we don't even know the meaning of love. Maybe it's just an illusion. Something to sell books, tv and movies. Because after 30 years, I feel like I don't know what love is. And I wish I did, so I could teach my daughter to stay away from men like her father. The last thing I want for my baby girl, is for her to go through the same pain I am.
Thanks for listening to me. Stay tuned for some book posts!